The Concept of All or Nothing

Maybe it is just me but it seems like there is a pervasive notion that expresses the thought that you either know it all, or you know nothing. Now you and I get that this is simply not true – there is a whole lot of in between. Maybe the reason why this is on the increase is because of social media and the need to appear perfect, even though there is no one that has a perfect life.

Fortunately, the older we are, the wiser we are about such matters and we understand better than the 20 somethings who are caught in a trap of trying to curate and display a perfect life. Furthermore, the younger generation can fall into the trap of thinking that their life is not good because they are constantly comparing themselves against their peers appearance on social media and feel like they are inadequate. In this sense, I’m glad that I am middle aged.

I think that this unfortunate trend of constantly comparing ourselves, as a result of social media has and does impact everyone, not just the younger generation. I personally think that there are retirees out there that would really love to learn to play the piano, but they hold themselves back because they don’t think that they will be good enough. I know this because I have had people tell me this. I think that this is sad because people are depriving themselves of pleasure because they perceive that they are not good enough.

I know I have mentioned about my beloved grandmother before and I have talked about the joy she experienced playing the piano but maybe what I haven’t talked about was her limited knowledge. In some ways I am grateful that I was always living in a different state to her and that when I saw her, it would be for a week at a time because we would stay with her, so I got to see her do her regular practice and we got to share with each other our mutual love of playing the piano. I remember the time when I realized that I had now surpassed her in knowledge and skill. I was probably only about 10 years old at the time and I was quizzing her about what she could play, purely out of curiosity. She confidently said no several times and it became clear that I had surpassed her. It would have been clear to her as well, but it truly didn’t matter that her ten year old granddaughter was more skilled than what she was, because she was truly content with her knowledge.

As further years went by, I saw the gap between our skill get increasingly wider and realized that she would have had 3 or 4 years worth of lessons. I’m grateful that my teenage self kept her mouth shut for she was then teaching me something different – you do not need to know everything in order to enjoy playing the piano.

So my point is that don’t think you won’t be good enough and don’t think that you have to know everything because pleasure can be derived from playing the piano with just some skills. My grandmother was living proof of this.