Over the many years that I have taught the piano, I have seen many times the differences between adults piano students and kids who learn the piano.
A big difference is the tone of the piano lesson. When I am teaching kids, it is very much I am running the lesson. I determine what needs to happen first. Sometimes, what I have determined previously may be abandoned on the spot especially when I young student enters the lesson, telling me excitedly that they have learned a piece of music (or a section) really well and they are very keen to show me how well they have done. Teaching piano lessons to kids, is definitely directed by me, but because I show flexibility and allow the young student to have some choices, it doesn’t feel that way for the student. When teaching adults, it feels much more like a collaboration with another adult who is allowing themselves to make the most of my knowledge and expertise.
Believe it or not but the biggest difference that I have noticed between adult piano students and kids is that the adults will often apologize during their lesson. I mostly hear apologies for partial lack of practice and for making mistakes. While these apologies reflect a commitment to learning or improving their skill level, apologies are completely unnecessary. Piano teachers are mostly a reasonable bunch of people and we do understand that life happens. Sure, in retirement you probably have more time to devote to learning and playing the piano, but it doesn’t mean that you have no responsibilities either. Family members can get sick, extra babysitting the grandkids may need to happen, there are all sorts of reasons why there may be a few weeks where the piano practice simply doesn’t get done. I would go so far as to say that if you are having lessons and your teacher is not understanding, then it is time to find another teacher.
In my experience, it is only the adult students that will apologize if they make mistakes, kids just don’t. Apologies are not needed. Mistakes are just part of the learning process. You will make mistakes, especially when you are learning a new rhythm or pattern, a new technique or a piece of music that has lots of notes in rapid succession. Making mistakes is part of the process of improving and every music teacher understands this.
I think that I have had adults apologize frequently because they feel like they should be learning faster or doing better than what they actually are. This is just so unnecessary because everyone learns at their own pace. Everyone has the right to learn and improve at their own pace. I would actually argue that it is not wise to go too fast to quickly, especially when you are learning the fundamentals, because if you don’t learn the fundamentals well then your technique will be flawed and it will make things much more difficult further down the track.
Often adults that are frequently apologizing seem to reflect a lack of belief that they can achieve the standard that they want to get to. A good piano teacher is often very encouraging and they can help you get to a point where you will realize that you can achieve your goal of being able to play the piano well. Trust your teacher – they can and will get you to your goals with some time and effort.
Sometimes I think that adult piano students are apologizing because they feel like they are wasting my time. No-one who puts in some effort is wasting a piano teacher’s time. I don’t care if the progress is fast or slow, you are not wasting a teacher’s time. Also, you are paying the teacher for their time. If you were just way too slow (not that I have ever seen it with an adult), you could theoretically be wasting your money but because you are financially compensating a piano teacher for their time, but because you are paying for their time you cannot actually be wasting their time.
My point is really this: Please stop apologizing because you never need to apologize for your pace of progress or that sometimes you don’t get to practice as much as you like to, or whatever! Please be more like kids – they just don’t ever feel the need to apologize and neither should you.